Let the Adventure Begin

I suffer from depression. I have fibromyalgia. I am trapped in a society that thinks how people perceive you is the only place that your value comes from. I have been very unhappy a long time, and earlier this week I reached my breaking point. I just need more out of life than what modern day society is offering. 

I was born and raised in the Kansas City area. First on a farm, then in a small town, then in the city. I joined the Navy to see the world. I got to see the coasts. California and Maryland. After my divorce, I headed out to Colorado. I've been here about 3 years. Even now, I'm feeling the itch. I need to move. I want to explore new places, new people, new cultures. I'm finishing up my biology degree though, that means I'm stuck until graduation. 

That's why I reached my breaking point. Being a nomad at heart and being trapped in one place can do that to a girl. Not only do I have to graduate, but I have to save up enough money to move to where ever I need to go next. Clearly, I needed a hobby that got me outside of my house, which takes my typically sewing and binge watch TV shows/movies out of the picture. I was unhappy with my life and I needed change. I had no clue. Until I went to R.E.I. to pick up hiking packs for my dogs, so I could bring them with me on my Animal Ecology class' field trips.

As I wandered around the store, I became more and more sad. I had always wanted to go hiking and camping. Year after year friends and significant others had let me down. I realized I was extremely resentful. Why didn't they want to go with me? Something clicked. Screw them, if they didn't want to come, they didn't have to, but I was going to. Used my refund to buy some supplies, and started plotting this blog. I want to use it to see my progress. The guy at the cash register had it right when he said the supplies were cheaper than therapy.

New pack and new boots.

I find it interesting that typically I feel buyer remorse when dropping money on a hobby. That's not the case this time. This time is different. I feel empowered and excited.  Like I said, I suffer from depression and fibromyalgia. Getting out and doing things is supposed to help both of those. I didn't want to give up fighting, and now I've found a new way to keep fighting. I want to see how the base line of my fitness improves. I want to see how my soul heals as I spend more time out. I want my dogs to have more time out, rather than just a stroll around the apartment complex. 

Strutting around in their puppy packs.

I'm tired of being resentful of people. I'm tired of not taking control in my life. I'm tired of constantly holding myself back because of fear. I'm of being tired. I refuse to settle. I've settled my whole life, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of falling just short of my goals. 

I'm done with it all.

This is me taking a stand. This is me being willing to travel. This is me taking a risk. This is my leap of faith. 

This week my class went to Bear Creek Lake Park in Morrison, CO. The dogs had a blast, but we'll have to do some leash training. While they're excellent on traditional leashes, retractable leashes seem to give them larger egos and they don't think they need to listen. Currently, they're both passed out on the floor. They look so peaceful, and I get the feeling I will look just as peaceful, albeit probably not as cute, tonight while I'm sleeping. That's the point, though. I want to challenge myself with something I'm passionate about.

Thus, my adventure is just beginning and I can't describe how excited I am to see the world from trails long forgotten.

This is actually from Hudson, CO, but it was too pretty not to share.